One of the hardest truths of spiritual life comes in the moment when we say to ourselves, “I can’t”. The realization that we failed to do good, didn’t love in the moment, didn’t trust God in difficulty, didn’t have courage to persevere. We want to keep trying, do better, believe harder, find more inspiration and motivation. But that moment comes when all we can honestly say is “I can’t”.
The thought occurred to me today that although this moment of realization is difficult, the moment is also strangely beautiful. In the moment when we give up trying harder, when we let go of the need to succeed, when we stop pushing our burden uphill in a snowstorm, when we decide that this isn’t the hill we want to die on, we find that it is all okay. Saying the words “I can’t” didn’t bring about cosmic disaster.
We were never meant to be able to do it all, be everything that everyone else wants or needs, or succeed at everything we try. We were created to be spiritual children, lost sheep in need of a shepherd.
If that is what we are created to be, why then are we so hard on ourselves when we are weak, afraid, in need of help?
The good news of the spiritual life is that God’s kingdom order was designed to accept the weak, the sick and wounded, and the ones in need. The truth is that saying the words “I can’t” opens the door of God’s power and presence. It’s a paradox of the human condition. When I finally admit that I have no power on my own and stop trying to do everything myself, then my spirit is willing to allow God’s power to provide.
Oh, what a stubborn creature I am! Oh what a gracious Lord He is!
I think of Peter stepping out of the boat to walk on water. He looked down and said to himself, “I can’t”. When he started to drown, Jesus lifted him up.
When there was a crowd of hungry people, Jesus told the disciples to feed them. The disciples said, “we can’t”. Jesus miraculously provided.
When the disciples told Thomas that Jesus had risen from the dead and was challenged to believe, he refused to believe until he saw Jesus for himself. Jesus appeared to Thomas and allowed Thomas to touch his scars.
The Lord isn’t shocked by our weakness and failure. He created us, calls us by name, and loves us. He designed the spiritual life in a way that provides us everything we need in our most difficult moments: a direct line of communication through prayer, a Helper in the Holy Spirit that is our constant companion and source of power and encouragement, and His church so that we are never in this life alone.
We feel shame for saying “I can’t”. But saying “I can’t” to Jesus leads to wonderful, life-giving moments of His power. Saying “I can’t” to the Lord of the Universe invites His presence and power into our lives.
Don’t be afraid to say “I can’t” to Jesus. Wait and watch what happens next!
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 12: 9-10
Copyright @ T A Boland 2024
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