I was sitting with a friend at a women’s bible study when she spoke her honest feelings about something going on in my life. I didn’t receive the words well as I felt it was intrusive, uninvited judgement. It was a hurtful thing to say but she believed saying it was the loving thing to do. The conversation was a bit messy to work through. In all honesty, I haven’t exactly been known for my gentleness and care in speaking “truth” either.
Throughout much of my Christian experience I have known the words of Ephesians 4:15, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” I was convinced that the verse was saying that I should share the “truths” on my mind if I shared it in a loving way.
The problem is that I didn’t understand what the passage was actually saying. I had the wrong idea of the nature of the “truth” that was meant to be shared in love. Because of this, if I thought the truth was that someone doesn’t do their job well, then I should find a loving way to say it. I could give someone my honest opinion on anything as long as I believed I was saying it with love as my motive. My friend also believed that being honest about her opinion was a good thing, if she found the “right” way to say it.
What does it really mean to speak the truth in love?
From the Greek, “speak the truth with love” carries the idea of “professing true doctrine”. Paul wrote to the Ephesians to tell them that Jesus gives to the church apostles, prophets, teachers, evangelists, and pastors so that the body would be built up (Eph 4:11), until the church reaches unity and maturity (4:13). The goal of professing true doctrine is to build up and mature the believers.
Paul says that when the truth is taught, the church will no longer be a child, easily deceived and distracted (4:13). By professing true doctrine (AKA speaking the truth in love) the church will grow, mature, and build up in love as each part does its work (4:16). Again, the goal is for the children of God to grow up, mature, and become prepared for every good work that God wills (4:12).
So what does that look like in my everyday life?
How do I profess true doctrine in such a way that it helps build up and encourage other people? As I thought about it, I began to wonder what would happen if I began to speak the truths of our Christian faith according to the moment of need.
As I was thinking about these things, I saw a post on social media of a fellow church member relaying the tough time they were going through with sickness and death in the family and business troubles. Instead of putting a heart emoji or the praying hands symbol on the social media post, I private messaged her. I spoke true doctrine to her. I told her that Jesus said we would have hard times, but he would never leave us or forsake us (John 16:33). I told her that Jesus said he would be with us even to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20).
I then began to wonder how powerful this concept would be if I spoke true doctrine into the situations of others, the widowed, the lonely, the shamed, the struggling, the confused. Speaking the truths of Jesus Christ into the ears, hearts, and minds of others as I have opportunity could be powerful and lifechanging. It takes some practice to step out of the polite conversation we are accustomed to so that the truth of God’s love can come out.
I then wondered again…
What if I began to speak true doctrine to myself? In lonely, angry, hurt, confusing moments, what if I spoke the truth of the doctrines of Jesus Christ to myself? It will require practice and a disciplined habit of “taking thoughts captive” (2 Corinthians 10:15). But it will be life changing.
Speak the truth with love, the eternal truths we know from our faith in Jesus Christ, as you encounter people during your day. Speak the truths of Jesus to yourself. As we do this, the truths of our faith will make an eternal difference in our lives and the lives of those around us.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).
Comments